Visit with me, if you will, Episode 2 of Season 2, “I Saw You.” In which Nathaniel is crying out to God from under a fig tree. Nathanial’s anguished expression demonstrates how very much he needs to be seen and heard by God.
Not too long ago, I related to Nathanial. During this time, I had asked myself, “Where are you, God? Do you see my pain? Is it even important?" Words of unworthiness were bombarding my thoughts. We all know that, at times, life can leave us feeling this way.
My heart was just pouring out to the Lord as I wept. In my conversation with him, I acknowledged his love for me, but I was feeling down, and so I just needed reassurance. God speaks to people in different ways... to me, it’s usually in dreams.
I dreamt that I was looking at this light that appeared in my room... I saw these beautiful words in white as they started scrolling upwards as if they were going out of the ceiling into the sky. There were so many words that I couldn’t read them fast enough. Words that stood out to me were “you are loved” and “you are special.” However, there were so many words, too many to count, and I could feel God saying, this is how I see and think about you.
Then I woke up...
When I watched the ending of this episode in which Jesus confronts Nathanial, I sobbed. It reminded me that we are all seen by God! When we are crying in silence, thinking no one notices us, he does not hide his face from us. He loves us and cares about every aspect of our lives.
In fact, one of the names of God is “El Roi”, “the God who sees me.”
Psalm 56:8 states, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”
"And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left." (Isaiah 30:20-21)
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4)
"Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love," (Psalm 33:18)
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